Dating and boundaries: why they matter!


Some of my favourite blogs are about dating and since it’s been awhile I thought now is the time to write another one!

I was privileged to be living with my parents when I was dating. I say this because they set boundaries for me. There was always someone at the house when Nathan and I were there and there were consequences if bad choices were made. Why is this a privilege? Well, if you live on your own while dating, there is no one to tell you how late you can stay up together and no one to keep you accountable when you are alone. The end result, as a majority but not in every case, is bad choices with no consequences. You see, when there is no immediate consequence to a poor choice, we don’t recognize it as a poor choice. We continue to push the boundaries because it must be ok. Just one more kiss, just ten more minutes, just one more layer…I’m sorry to go there but it’s the truth! The last thing you want is to end up making one of the most devastating decisions of the rest of your relationship. Like my mom repeatedly reminded me, “You only get one chance.”

If you are wise, you will set boundaries while you’re dating and even more so once you’re engaged. Don’t be afraid to tell your boyfriend/fiance that he can’t stay past 10 pm. It’s not weakness, in fact, it’s a radiant strength that very few possess! By setting boundaries in your relationship, you are showing that you care deeply about putting God first and also about your future together. When you don’t set boundaries and continually push the limits, you display a selfish attitude that is centred around how you feel rather than the health of the relationship.

It’s simple, God set boundaries for our benefit, not to constrict us. Boundaries are helpful, not a hindrance. They tell us not to keep running or we may fall off a cliff! Get the point? If you want a healthy, long-lasting relationship that is going to be strengthened and not weakened by your choices, set boundaries! 

Last, but not least, have fun inside those boundaries. Plan date nights and BE WITH PEOPLE. Trust me, after you’re married those are the times you will remember from your dating life. Make it count, you only get one chance 🙂

Your friend,